Invisible Scars
by xBrokenRecordx
Summary: Songfic to My Immortal by Evanescence. On the anniversary of Bianca's death, Nico spends his time pondering over the past. A bit of Thalico at the end.


**A/N: My first songfic in this specific format. The song is My Immortal by Evanescence. I thought it would fit perfectly with Nico and his sister. There is a bit of Thalico at the end….not that much. Probably if you squint.**

**Enjoy. –Autumn**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Percy Jackson and the Olympians. That would be nice though.**

_I'm so tired of being here_  
><em>Suppressed by all my childish fears<em> 

It was ridiculous, really, to be mourning for his sister so greatly when she died several years previously. He could always go to the nearest McDonald's, buy a Happy Meal, and then he could talk to his sister for as long as he was capable of without passing out.

For a twenty year old man who was completely bad ass, this was below him, childish. He was acting like the foolish kid he was at the age of twelve and hadn't known of his parentage.

_And if you have to leave_  
><em>I wish that you would just leave<em>  
><em>Cause your presence lingers here<em> 

He felt haunted, as all children of Hades felt. He could see the life auras of everyone, feel them as they faded to nothing. He could see the spirits that lurked the earth, trying to find the entrance to his father's domain.

He knew his sister was in the Underworld. He knew it. His father told him. And although his father can be a manipulative lying bastard, he knew that his father was telling the truth. Bianca herself had also told him of her whereabouts in the Underworld.

But he still felt haunted. As if she was always watching over him, scolding him for using foul language or making rude gestures at innocent civilians of whatever city he was in that week. Her presence lingered, and it wouldn't go away.

_And it won't leave me alone_  
><em>These wounds won't seem to heal<em>  
><em>This pain just is just too real<em>  
><em>There's just too much that time cannot erase<em> 

The guilt refused to leave, forever imprinted onto his heart and soul. And it wasn't even his fault she died, damn it! Why was he so damn guilty about something he _didn't _do? It had been Bianca's decision whether or not she wanted to die to save Zoe, Grover, Percy, and Thalia's lives.

The wounds were deeper than anyone thought. Even the one person who felt such pain he has couldn't help him. People keep telling him that time will help erase the pain. Time this. Time that. He didn't give a shit. Time couldn't erase many things. People failed to notice this fact of life. But Nico didn't care. They could believe whatever the hell they wanted to believe.

_When you cried I'd_  
><em>Wipe away all of your tears<em>  
><em>When you scream I'd<em>  
><em>Fight away all of your fears<em>  
><em>I held your hand through all of these years<em>  
><em>But you still have<em>  
><em>All of me<em> 

For being the daughter of the devil himself, Bianca was an angel. She could never get frustrated with him. She would never slap him, hit him, kick him or anything that would harm her precious little brother.

In the middle of the night, he'd come rushing to her room, tears streaming down his pale face. He'd jump onto the bed and scramble under her covers. She'd wrap a loving arm around him and wipe away his tears with a gentle hand.

Then she'd tell him a funny story to help him forget his nightmares. He'd always tell her that they were of her leaving him. Leaving him and never coming back. Little did he know, the nightmare would eventually become a reality.

They were best friends. Not many siblings had such a relationship. They had such even before their mother was killed by the hands of Zeus. After the Titan War, Hades had let him find a way to regain his memories. He wept when he did find the way to regain them.

In every one of his lost memories, he and Bianca were exactly the same. They smiled and hugged and laughed and played with their toys...they were the perfect family with his mother and father watching over them with tender smiles on each of their faces.

She had held his hand through the good and the bad times. Every single one of them. And now his heart was invisibly scarred and all he had were the memories.

_You used to captivate me_  
><em>By your resonating mind<em>  
><em>Now I'm bound by the life you left behind<em>  
><em>Your face it haunts<em>  
><em>My once pleasant dreams<em>  
><em>Your voice it chased away<em>  
><em>All of the sanity in me<em> 

He has nightmares now. Nightmares that were once pushed away by his sister. But now, in the darkness of his cabin, he wakes up in a cold sweat each and every night. Her face haunts his nightmares. He's not quite sure _exactly _how she died. He's heard the tale from Percy several times. But he keeps coming up with several different variations of how she _could _have died. It haunts every dream of his.

Then day comes and he wakes up and he just _swears _he can hear Bianca tell him, "Rise and shine, Nico!" He turns around and looks for the source of his sister's voice. People think he's insane. And now, he's starting to think so, too.

_These wounds won't seem to heal_  
><em>This pain is just too real<em>  
><em>There's just too much that time cannot erase<em> 

The wounds are getting deeper with each year. They sting as if someone has slapped him in the face. As if he has taken a blade and cut his wrists. As if he was stabbed in the heart and left to die.

The pain was real. Time could not erase it no matter what he did.

_When you cried I'd_  
><em>Wipe away all of your tears<em>  
><em>When you scream I'd<em>  
><em>Fight away all of your fears<em>  
><em>I held your hand through all of these years<em>  
><em>But you still have<em>  
><em>All of me<em> 

He closed his eyes and clutched the figurine tighter in his palms. It was dark outside and the stars shined brightly. Tears were streaming down his slightly tanned, but still pale face. His dark bangs fell into his eyes and stuck to his tear stained cheek but he didn't make an effort to move them away.

It was the eight year anniversary of her death. He couldn't believe it had been so long since she had passed. He was sitting on the ground of Hephaestus' junk yard, the place of his sister's untimely death. He shouldn't have come here. It only made the wounds deeper. Sitting in the very place his sister died only made the feeling of haunting stronger.

The tears kept coming and he made no move to rub them away. Only Bianca was allowed to rub them away.

_I tried so hard to tell myself_  
><em>That your gone<em>  
><em>Though your still with me<em>  
><em>I've been all alone<em>  
><em>All alone<em> 

"I still can't believe she's gone..." he muttered. Even after years of trying to believe that she was gone, his efforts were futile. But sitting there in the middle of Hephaestus' abandoned projects made him realize just how alone he was.

...And there was nothing he could do about it. He was alone. All alone...

_When you cried I'd_  
><em>Wipe away all of your tears<em>  
><em>When you scream I'd<em>  
><em>Fight away all of your fears<em>  
><em>I held your hand through all of these years<em>  
><em>But you still have<em>  
><em>All of me<em> 

As Apollo started to drive his chariot over the mountains in the distance, he got up and shadow travelled away before it got too bright to go anywhere.

He didn't have a specific place in mind and found himself stumbling into the camp of Artemis' hunters and bumped right into Thalia Grace.

"Watch where you're goi-Nico!" She exclaimed and gave him a great big hug before noticing the tears still streaming down his face. She frowned a little bit and brought a hand up to wipe them away but her wrist was caught by Nico's hand.

"Please." He rasped. "Don't. Only Bianca can wipe away my tears." Thalia gave him a sympathetic smile.

"Nico. Bianca is always going to be here with you." She took her hand out of his wrist and jabbed it into his chest. "Right here. She may have been there to wipe away your tears when she was alive, but now that she's gone, her duty will have to be passed to someone else. Please, Nico. Let me."

He looked at her for a couple seconds before sitting down on a nearby log and Thalia sat beside him, wrapping an arm around him and wiping away his tears with the other hand.

"Bianca may not be here, Nico, but I always will be." Thalia whispered as he doubled over and silently wept. He grasped her other hand and just held it.

"Thank you..." He whispered. "Thank you so much..."


End file.
